September 4th, 1997

September 4th, 1997
7:23am Good cold morning. I don’t know why my mind is playing out a revenge horror movie based on this camp. Maybe some of the people I confess. It is wrong. God I need some peace.11:37 Our meeting was good. We walked about relationships with each other. Talking and encouraging. I thought of my friend sitting to my right. We talked about potential and second chances. This is not going to be easy. Mud: Muck under dirt. The mud bowl was nice and muddy, I enjoyed filming from the edge, nice and clean. I still say an occasional sentence to my friend, but not too much. I love her in Christ. She is a sister in Christ. Dear God,does it get easier or am I doomed to this school life. You love me. Please allow others to love you and me. I pray life will get better. Amen. 2:11pm I am crying alone with God. As I week I am trying to calm myself down. A classmate came alongside and reminded me of what the speaker said in a nice way. I feel like only God cares. I am seeing people with their lives to worry about. Chances, rejection, attention. Help me Savior. These two girls were an answer to prayer. Came to me while I was crying. They cared. Now I feel better and have 4 new friends. Thank you. Lord I went to the pool and offered my towl, but she did not want mine. I still feel a little down. Its 4:25Dear God, Thank you for my caring friends. Amen. 8:26 After the dinner comes a roaring lighting by hail bouncing off my hat as we run to shelter. The meeting hall. Rain is flooding. Waters cover the bridge. Flash flood warning. Down pour. Now dinning hall with flood lights only I feel that longing again for a talk. I talked to a classmate for a bit. Why oh God do I still ache. Speaker talked about difficult things. Psalm 86. Feeling lost. God is your refuge. I call away, yes, I need God’s help. Dear God, Please help me sort out my problems. Thank you for everything. Amen.